Rememberance
by EmoStarlette
Summary: What if Amy woke up one morning and realized she couldn't remember the past year? Based on the hit book "A Clean Slate".
1. Lucky

Have you ever had a moment when you've known- I mean logically know in your head- that you're a fantastically lucky person? For me, this is one of those moments. I'm thinking about my life, here, snuggled in my soft, cotton sheets, and flipping through the channels on my over-priced plasma TV, and it really is pretty good. I'm one of the most popular girls in school, with a loving family, a nice house, and a good head on my shoulders. Sure, my boyfriend is in a coma, but it could be worse. He could be gone completely, and I could be utterly alone. But he's still breathing, and so am I. Then there's Ephram. As much as I deny it, he's one of the best things I've got going for me right now. Besides for the guilt being with him gives me (Colin would want me to move on...but how can I be sure?), I couldn't be happier. He's sweet, and he's funny, and he likes me for me, which in my circle of friends is hard to come by. But lately, I find myself wishing more and more that we could be more than friends.  
  
Anyways, moving on...  
  
My mother's voice rang through the house, calling my name in her "stern" voice for some reason or another. I scrambled out of bed, hastily slipping out of my pajamas and into my jeans and a peasant top. I almost forgot, today is the second day of my Christmas vacation, and I don't have a thing to do. This doesn't bother me though, what could be better then a laid back day to myself.  
  
"Amy Nicole, get down here now," I heard her yell again. Damn, I thought to myself, what could I have done to make her angry? Not even bothering to make my bed, I practically bounced down the stairs, and into the kitchen where my mother was waiting.  
  
"Listen, not only are you grounded until we say otherwise, but no TV, phone, or computer either," She said, as if to remind me.  
  
"What did I do?" I asked, confused. I hardly ever got grounded, especially not without any privileges.  
  
"Don't play dumb," My mother warned, "Here's the list of things I need you to pick up at the store. Go strait there, and come strait back. If I find out you did anything other than that, you'd be in deep trouble Amy." I absently nodded, and wondered out the door. She followed me out, and tossed a pair of keys at me.  
  
"You almost forgot those," She said, and turned to go back inside. I looked around confused; the only car in the driveway was some sort of KIA I had never seen in my life. I glanced inside, surprised to see a few of my things spread across the back seat and on the floor. Apart from being bewildered, I was also excited. I tried the key, and sure enough it worked. I sat down in the driver's seat, and couldn't help but to start snooping around. I found a driver's license in the glove compartment, with my picture and name on it, along with my hair color and height and what not. Since when did I have a driver's license? I got out of the car, and decided just to walk to the supermarket. It wasn't too long of a walk, but when I finally got there I saw something that confused me even more then the license. As I entered the supermarket, I noticed Ephram heading towards the cash registers. Even though things were still awkward between us (the whole kiss and all), I decided to go talk to him. Maybe he knew something about the weird stuff going on around my house.  
  
"Hey Ephram," I said, giving him a toothy grin. He looked at me like I was the freaking Queen Mum back from the grave.  
  
"Ugh, hi Amy," He replied, as you would to someone you hadn't seen since the fourth grade. What was up with everything today?  
  
"What are you up to?" I asked, trying to ignore his reply.  
  
"Not much, just picking up a few things, with Madison," He answered. Who the hell was Madison?  
  
"Madison?" I questioned, the cheerfulness disappearing from my tone. As if to answer my question, an older looking blonde girl, whose pants- by the way- where way to tight, came up to us, smiling so widely she looked a little tipsy.  
  
"Hey, you ready to go?" She asked Ephram, before turning to me, "Amy, right?"  
  
"Um, yeah," I nodded, not knowing who the hell she was, or how she knew my name. I swallowed hard, trying to quell my fears that she was some secret girlfriend of Ephram's.  
  
"Well, see you around," Ephram told me, before walking off with this Abercrombie blonde. My fears were confirmed as I watched them kiss each other they had reached the automatic doors. Suddenly I felt sick to my stomach, and had the strange need to throw something.  
  
***  
  
As soon as I got home with the groceries, I went directly to my room to think about what was going on, and possibly call Kayla or Paige to see if they knew. I sat down on my bed, and decided to think back about what I had done in the past few days. But suddenly I couldn't really remember anything. I grabbed my day planner (yeah yeah, I know it's lame) and flipped through it. At first it seemed normal, but then I looked at the dates. It was December 19th in 2003, not 2002. Frantically I tried to think about what was going on, maybe the day planner was messed up, or maybe I was just seeing things. I turned on the TV and began flipping through the stations, stopping on a news channel. They were reporting about the capture of Saddam Hussein, but since when where they looking for him? We hadn't even gone to war with Iraq yet. I scanned my room for another clue of what could be going on, and instantly thought of my backpack. I tore it open, and rummaged through the contents, finally finding a textbook. I looked at the cover, and gasped. It was an 11th grade biology book. Since when was I in any 11th grade classes? Had I gone crazy? Did I really forget an entire year? No. Something else had to be up. Maybe it was some elaborate plan that Bright, Kayla, and Paige set up, just to make me think I was nuts. I don't doubt that they would do something that heinous but I don't think they're smart enough to pull it off. I grabbed my coat and decided I only had one more chance to really figure this out. I would go to Ephram's and talk to him, even if it meant dealing with his Barbie girlfriend. 


	2. I'll be okay

Hey guys, I forgot to do the whole "disclaimer" thing. Basically I don't own Everwood, and I owe my inspiration to Laura Caldwell who wrote "A Clean Slate" which is where I got the concept for this fic. I also got the firs sentence of chapter one from "A Clean Slate". Anyways, please read and review!  
  
I took a deep breath, and reached out to ring the doorbell. Right away the door swung open revealing that damn blonde again. She looked me up and down, and an amused smile spread across her face. Who did she think she was?  
  
"Hi, is Ephram there?" I asked, a sudden rush of courage washed over me. This girl was not going to get the best of me.  
  
"Yeah, just a second," She turned away, "Ephram, it's Amy!" Ephram appeared at the door, a much warmer look on his face then earlier at the supermarket.  
  
"Hey Amy, what's up?" He asked. Madison stood firmly next to him, her arms folded tight against her chest.  
  
"Not much, I just really need to talk to you," I explained, taking a good look at him. He looked taller and older, which would add to my "memory gap" theory. Madison still stood there, giving me a look as if to say "go on, spit it out." "Alone, I mean." He nodded and joined me on the porch. I couldn't help but send her a victory glare. She deserved it.  
  
"So what's going on?" Ephram asked, me genuine concern in his voice.  
  
"This is going to sound super weird, but I think I have a.memory gap," I spat out, it felt good to finally say it, but at the same time I felt a little bit stupid.  
  
"What do you mean?" He asked me, raising an eyebrow.  
  
"Well, I woke up this morning, and it was 2003. Last time I checked it was 2002, and I didn't have my driver's license, and this Madison chick didn't exist," I confided in him. He stood there, for a little while, trying to figure out what I was saying.  
  
"So your saying you've forgotten the past year?" He asked me confused. I nodded, wishing he wasn't looking at me like either I was crazy or he was.  
  
"Your serious?" He asked again. I didn't blame him for being skeptical.  
  
"Yeah," I answered.  
  
"So you don't remember how you ran away, or the summer time, or Colin?" He questioned. I tried to think, tried to see if anything sparked a memory. But there was nothing. Suddenly, I started to wonder what he meant about Colin.  
  
"What about Colin?" I asked, bracing myself.  
  
"Amy," He looked at me sadly, as if the news he was about to tell me would hurt. I knew what he was going to say before he said it, "Colin died." I looked down at my shoes, trying desperately to just try to make myself wake up. This was probably some twisted dream. I pinched my leg, and the pain confirmed my fears. My chest tightened, and I felt short of breath. You know, the feeling you get when you fall off the monkey bars in the second grade and hit the ground so hard you can't cry, breath, or do anything but just lay there? I tried to calm myself; I didn't want to breakdown in front of Ephram. I felt his arms wrap around me, and I buried my face in his chest. It was hard to imagine that I'd never see Colin again.  
  
"I'm so sorry Aims," He said, smoothing my hair. A wave of guilt hit me like a freight train, because here I was actually feeling happy and safe with Ephram, when I had just figured out Colin had died. What the hell, Amy, that's not right. I brushed the tears off of my face, and moved away from Ephram.  
  
"I think I'm going to go home," I announced. He looked at me, and gave me a worried smile.  
  
"I'll come by and see how your doing tomorrow, maybe we can find out what happened," Ephram promised, before embracing me in a hug, "You'll be alright, Amy." I nodded, and started off in the direction of my house. His words rang in my head, and I assured myself he was right. I'd be okay.  
  
***  
  
I brushed the snow off of the gravestone, revealing the name I was looking for. Colin Hart. I traced my fingertips, which had become cherry red from the cold, over the letters of his name. I felt a warm tear slide down my face, as I knelt there on the ground, knowing somewhere underneath me was my boyfriend. It seamed so morbid, and wrong. I must have been there for a long time, because when I looked to the horizon the colors of the sunset were beginning to fade, and the sun had almost sunk out of sight.  
  
"Colin," I finally said to myself, "I'm going to miss you." Memories began to race through my head, and I remembered the last day I had seen him awake and alive (well, the last day I could remember). My skin became hot and I balled my hands into fists. Before I know what I was doing, I was furiously punching the ground, and even though I probably looked like a child having a hissy fit, I couldn't make myself stop. I felt so angry. Angry at myself for not trying harder to make him stay at the fair, angry at Bright for getting them in the accident, angry at the doctors for not helping him, but mostly I was angry at Colin for leaving me. A scream escaped from my lips, as I collapsed on top of his grave, finally allowing myself to fully grieve. As I lay there, staring at the stars that had begun to appear, I stopped thinking about what I could have done, and started to think of what I could do now. Colin was gone, and frankly, I really only had two choices. I could shut down, and just stop living, or I could gather all the hope and faith I could muster and push forward. As easy as it would be to just go through the motions, I knew what I had to do. I had to move on. 


	3. Promise Me

Today my bed seems a little less warm, a little less comforting, and I feel a lot less lucky. It was almost 10:30 but I couldn't bring myself to get out of bed. I just absently glanced around the room. Everything reminded me of Colin, I just needed to get away. I got up and went to my closet. As I through the door open, I unintentionally caught a glimpse of myself in the floor length mirror. I gasped as I peered at my reflection. My hair was limp and grubby looking, and somehow had turned a more dishwater blonde color. My eyes seemed distant and empty, and my skin was so pale I looked like a ghost. Frankly, this girl I was looking at didn't have the slightest resemblance to me. I couldn't help but wonder why I had let myself go like this. Impulsively I jumped into the shower, scrubbing myself as hard as I could. I must have shampooed at least 4 times, because by the time I got out of the shower it looked at least half decent and acceptable. I grabbed a pair of silver scissors and began to snip bits and pieces off, doing my best to keep it all the same length. I was able to trim it into a nice chest length style, and I must admit, it looked pretty good. As for my eyes, I tried to cover up the dark circles with some foundation, but that didn't help much. Giving up on that, I looked through my closet. I wasn't surprised to find that all my clothes were in dark colors; I rummaged through the stuff I had stacked in boxes to give away at the top of my closet. Inside one I was able to find a cute baby blue sweater and a pair of cargo pants. I slipped into them, and grabbed my black pea coat, ready to delve further into my forgotten year.  
  
***  
  
"About Colin's death, how did I take it?" I asked Ephram as we sat inside Mama Joy's together. I wasn't blind to the fact that they're were more than a few people shamelessly whispering gossip about me, and sending me displeased glances.  
  
"Not well," Ephram said honestly, "You took it pretty hard. Everyone's been so worried about you."  
  
"How hard exactly did I take it?" I questioned as I bit my lip.  
  
"You were on Zoloft," Ephram explained. I looked down at my hands, which were nervously clasped together. I couldn't believe it. I always thought I was a real solider when it came to hard times.  
  
"Wow," I hardly whispered. Ephram reached across the table and rubbed my arm encouragingly, "So I was pretty depressed, wasn't I?"  
  
"Yeah," He nodded, "You skipped school, went out drinking with Laynie, heck you even started dating some guy that works at the convenient store.  
  
"Your not serious. Who is he?" I asked eagerly. So now I had some boyfriend I didn't know about too.  
  
"Tommy something or other," Ephram replied, "Bright told me about him. Apparently he's both a drug addict and an arsonist." "So you and I- we haven't been on good terms?" I inquired, absently picking at a "Sweet'n'low" packet.  
  
"Not really," He answered, "It's just with everything that happened, and your depression, it's just been weird between us. And now your with Tommy, and I'm with Madison." He trailed off, and I couldn't help but attack the subject.  
  
"What's she like? I asked, trying not to sound too jealous.  
  
"She's smart, funny, kind," He began; I couldn't help but roll my eyes. She didn't seem all that great to me.  
  
"That's good. I'm happy for you," I assured him, doing my best to mask the jealousy raging through my body, "I like this, spending time with you I mean. Let's not forget each other, okay?"  
  
"Okay," He said, with a simple nod. I leaned across the table and entangled him in a hug. If I couldn't have him as a boyfriend, at least I knew our friendship was secure this time. 


End file.
